Through teenagers' eyes..

The following is something that Sara Espinoza shared this morning. Sara is our junior high math and science teacher at Doulos.

I promised myself that before I did my grading this afternoon or planning for tomorrow's lessons, I would first do this. . .I owe it to you. . .by your support, each of you is a part of this.
I love teaching. . .I love it because it has purpose, it's based on relationships, it's powerful in affecting the future, and I know that it uses the gifts God has given me. . .But throughout much of this school year, to be completely honest, I have felt a failure. I am often exhausted, frantically trying to pull together resources, short on creativity, and even shorter on time to build those relationships that I desire with the kids. I have,at times,wondered if my being here has done them more harm than good.

God is proving to be greater than all of that.

My ninth grade class, 10 students, has been studying electricity and physics for most of the year. As a culminating project, they have researched and selected a mini hydroelectric plant that they will install next week on the Wallace's coffee farm. Yesterday, we spent the day at the farm taking last minute measurements and discussing the supplies we will need to make it happen. Each student is responsible for a part of the project. . .pipeline repairs, filters, pressure calculations, safety, housing for the plant, wiring, etc.. It is a massive undertaking, but they have done so much research and developed such an amazing sense of ownership, that the town's best electrician and plumber wants to join us next week, not just to help, but to learn from them! The pride in their work is radiating from them as they discuss their opinions and problem solve. . ...they are learning skills that will help their community and provide them with countless future opportunities. I wish you could see it in action!

But that is small potatoes. . .

Each morning I spend 40 min. in devotion time with this group. At the beginning of the year, there were basically two who could converse with their hearts about their faith, and the rest, if they conversed or cared at all, did it as a mental exercise.

This morning, after a year of increasingly deep discussion, I asked the question, "If there is a good and benevolent God, why is there so much suffering in the world?" Here is how the conversation continued. (Bear in mind, it took place in both English and Spanish, with all intensely engaged whether they spoke or not, and most of these kids are 13-15 yrs. old.)

CAROL: Well, I used to wonder that too, but now I think that if we didn't suffer, we wouldn't need God, and we wouldn't get to be in relationship with Him. We wouldn't get to experience His help in our lives.

ME, (playing devil's advocate): Okay, how do you explain, for example, a child born in Rwanda, Africa, into an abusive family that cannot provide him food. He spends most of his life in starvation, never knowing love, and is killed before his eighth birthday, along with thousands of others, in the genocide that occurred in his country? Did he experience God's help?

ALEX: Yeah, how do you explain that? Like, he didn't deserve to die, and he didn't know God. All he did was be born into the wrong family!

CAROL: But that isn't something that God did. That is because of our sin. We are all sinful people, and we do bad things.

NELSON: Yeah, but God controls all things. If He's God, then He could stop it.

YELIDA: Yeah, but God gives us free will, so we can choose. If He didn't do that, the world would be, like, perfect.

ALEX: I wouldn't mind that. Isn't that what heaven is going to be like? Isn't that what we're all looking forward to?

CAROL: Yeah, but I think we would never appreciate it if we didn't experience the suffering first.

MICHELLE: Yeah, and if life here were perfect, it would be so boring!!

NELSON: Yeah, I wouldn't want to live in a perfect world.

ME, (trying to draw out a few of our language strugglers): Okay, Owaldy and Sharlin, which would you prefer? A perfect world, where anytime someone starts to do something wrong, God fixes it. . .where there is no pain and only good things. . .or, a world where there is the possibility of horrible, evil things happening?

OWALDY: Bad things.

ME: WHY?

OWALDY: Because I think that we learn from the bad things.

SHARLIN, (after a pensive pause, quietly, and with mixed English and Spanish): I think if there wasn't suffering and evil, then there would be no chance for redemption. And that is the best part of living.

At this point, there is heavy silence, and most of the kids are visibly, personally moved, nodding heads, teary eyed, smiling. It was a truly God-orchestrated moment. I was, (and still am), choking back tears. We spent the last minutes sharing favorite movies and stories that have touched us because of the power and beauty of redemption, and how without great ugliness, there is also no great beauty. We talked about people we know whose lives have been completely changed and how even murderers have the potential to be redeemed and bring this great beauty into our lives.

I closed by letting the kids know how much they moved me, and how amazed I am at God's work in their lives. . .how excited I am that they speak honestly from their hearts, and how thrilling it is going to be to watch them as they share with their families, community, and colleagues, and country, not only their intelligence and hard work, but also their true wisdom.
We closed with prayer and hugs.

And that is just what's going on with my ninth grade class. . .if I had time, (and if I thought you had more time), I would tell you about 7th and 8th grade! :)

THANK YOU for being part of this! THANK YOU for helping us to be here and do what we feel God leading us to do, even when it's hard! THANK YOU for caring for us so much! He is at work, and whether you intended it or not, He has used you to bring exceeding beauty into countless corners of this place!

All my love,
Sara